Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Tick...tick...tick...time to be "over it"

When is it time to get "over it"...the loss of a loved one? Others always give you advise on when it is time to move on, get over it or just stop thinking about it and it will go if the "it" is empty and ready to be disposed of. The "it" is my grief for a child I will never know and get to hold and love on. The "it" is my grief that is so piercing that some days I feel like if I take one more breath that my heart may break into pieces... The "it" is what makes others uncomfortable and that "it" bothers them and that they would feel much better if I moved on.

The "it" is a strong motherly love that I have for a child I do not know. The "it" is the journey that brings me closer to my FATHER, relying on HIM and his grace, love comfort and POWER!

A cancer survivor may have visible scars of their sufferings and illness~do others tell them to get over "it"?
A person who is severely injured in a accident may have life altering disabilities~do others tell them to get over "it"?
A person who has lost their house or possessions in a natural disaster~do others tell them to get over "it"?
All of these individuals have experiences tragedy and will forever be changed by the events that caused them such grief.

But families who have lost a loved one are socially expected to get over "it". Our scars are one can see them, our pain is medicine or aspirin can help, our loss is the duration of our earthly lives. We take it with us...everywhere we go, to a baby shower for a friend, a music concert at school for the class your child should have been in, a graduation party that your child will never get to have. I invision myself in in my 90's STILL loving the children that are not with me, because that is what Mommies do...we love our "it" children even though we don't get to feel, touch, see, smell them. They are ours and no timetable others set for us will help us in our "it" journey...

1 comment:

Amy said...

Very well written Nichelle. I have too many close friends who have experienced your same pain and wish that the world knew better how to support families who have experienced such a loss.