Thursday, March 26, 2009

Ok, done with that!

Though I will not apologize for yesterday's post...I was speaking what was in my heart and the whole reason I post things is to see my progress in my journey(or in this case regression).
Yesterdays rant and rage is over and done with...My FATHER...sat me down last night and gave me a firm "talking to"...if he was my earthly father, I so would be grounded until the end of summer. He basically told me to get over it...and that I am not God that HE IS...there is no disputing that statement. So as I am still frustrated and burdened by the issue, he knows my heart and hears my cry to him...He helped me see that even though some persons openly express their disbelief and feelings about their "unwanted" child(ren)...they are GOD's first and foremost...and they are wanted...BY HIM.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

A weak and bitter heart

Some of you may know that we got our Foster/Adoption licence last year and have not had a placement yet or an adoption call. Since we have had so many issues getting pregnant and dealing with the "what if something bad happens again" we hoped that we could add to our family by adoption.
So all of this "WHEN" and "WAITING" has been heavy on my heart anyway; but lately, the evil one has taken my heart in his hand, and will not let go...slowly squeezing it, making me bitter and angry at so many in this world. IT is everywhere, in the news, in your community, in your own backyard. People who show so little respect for the creation of life. Like the creating a life is no big deal, comparing it to filling the car up with gas, or buying a shirt.
So many families that I know right now would love to have a child, but are stricken with infertility. Or as I am writing this...sitting by their dying child's bed...crying out to GOD to spare their child and make them healthy again. I struggle with this from time to time...the carelessness of some people's actions and comments about not "wanting" children they(and God) have created. I am not questioning God's decisions in life, he is GOD. My heart goes to the single, pregnant young women who doesn't know what to do or where to turn, stricken with so many fears and an uncertain future. That would be such a scary place to be by its self, let alone if they also did not have loving family and friends supporting and helping them...UGH! I struggle with the careless actions of people who are supposed to be adults that actually say that they do not want the child they carry. I am pretty sure we all know where babies come from since the 6th saying that you don't understand how it happened seems a little silly.

Please pray for me as I struggle with this bitterness, that my Lord will show his grand words to me at the right time. That I will have a renewed heart in trusting in HIM and his HEAVENLY wisdom and not the wisdom that I think I posses.

Please pray also for the children that have parents that openly say that they regret having them or saying they are a mistake or unwanted...those words will forever ring in the ears of those children...Though no love is close in comparison to our heavenly FATHER, pray that at least one person in that child's earthly life will show them kindness, compassion and LOVE.

Monday, March 2, 2009

What did I give up for Lent?

Our church is going about Lent in a different way this year...they are asking that we read through Psalm 46-1...for the days between Ash Wednesday and Easter...they also thought people may want to refrain from something during this time...some are fasting...but I know that I would most likely end up in the hospital if I did that, so I was trying to think of something that I enjoy and brings me comfort and would offer a struggle to refrain guessed it, it is Mt. Dew. I wanted to give up something that brings me comfort to lean more on God and how he can comfort me. I think we all rely on some "thing" to comfort us from time to time...don't get me wrong...I am not saying that anything is wrong or bad about that...but I was putting these "things" high on my list, relying on my little fountain friend far to much.

He brings me comfort, He provides less stress, He takes my worries away, He is my safety "to" the storm, "in" the storm, and "away" from the storm...

My fave verses this week are:(hope His words give you strength and comfort)

Matthew 6:34
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Psalm 40
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
1 I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.

3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.

4 Blessed is the man
who makes the LORD his trust,
who does not look to the proud,
to those who turn aside to false gods

Psalm 46:10
Be still, and know that I am God