Wednesday, March 25, 2009

A weak and bitter heart

Some of you may know that we got our Foster/Adoption licence last year and have not had a placement yet or an adoption call. Since we have had so many issues getting pregnant and dealing with the "what if something bad happens again" we hoped that we could add to our family by adoption.
So all of this "WHEN" and "WAITING" has been heavy on my heart anyway; but lately, the evil one has taken my heart in his hand, and will not let go...slowly squeezing it, making me bitter and angry at so many in this world. IT is everywhere, in the news, in your community, in your own backyard. People who show so little respect for the creation of life. Like the creating a life is no big deal, comparing it to filling the car up with gas, or buying a shirt.
So many families that I know right now would love to have a child, but are stricken with infertility. Or as I am writing this...sitting by their dying child's bed...crying out to GOD to spare their child and make them healthy again. I struggle with this from time to time...the carelessness of some people's actions and comments about not "wanting" children they(and God) have created. I am not questioning God's decisions in life, he is GOD. My heart goes to the single, pregnant young women who doesn't know what to do or where to turn, stricken with so many fears and an uncertain future. That would be such a scary place to be by its self, let alone if they also did not have loving family and friends supporting and helping them...UGH! I struggle with the careless actions of people who are supposed to be adults that actually say that they do not want the child they carry. I am pretty sure we all know where babies come from since the 6th saying that you don't understand how it happened seems a little silly.

Please pray for me as I struggle with this bitterness, that my Lord will show his grand words to me at the right time. That I will have a renewed heart in trusting in HIM and his HEAVENLY wisdom and not the wisdom that I think I posses.

Please pray also for the children that have parents that openly say that they regret having them or saying they are a mistake or unwanted...those words will forever ring in the ears of those children...Though no love is close in comparison to our heavenly FATHER, pray that at least one person in that child's earthly life will show them kindness, compassion and LOVE.

1 comment:

Jaclyn said...

That's exactly how I feel...sometimes it's so hard to understand the "why". I have come to the realization that this is something that I will learn from, and grow stronger for having gone through it. It's very hard to not become bitter though. I have my good days, but I for sure have my bad days too! It always seems to sneak up on me when I least expect it. I'll be praying for you!

And yes, for those that claim they "don't know how it could have happened"...DUH.