Friday, May 22, 2009

Waiting out the wait

No, I have not fallen off the face of the planet...though if feels like it...have not been feeling well...Don't worry,I don't believe it is anything too serious. But while I have been having blood tests done, I am reminded once again that I am not me thinking about the when, where and how I will leave this world. I know we usually don't get the "heads up" on that one, but I often use the term "waiting out the wait" or "out waiting the wait"(you can let me know what is grammatically correct). You can take that a few different ways, but for me in this life..."I am waiting"...waiting for when I am in Heaven, waiting for my service on earth do be done, waiting to be reunited with other believing loved ones..and most of all waiting to be in the presence of "HIM."

I have a new understanding of the "wait" not only since becoming a believer, but also at the loses that have happened to our family over the last few the last five years we have lost so many that we love, cherish and miss daily.

Ok...get ready..I am going to say a scary word to some of you ...but death(there I said it) has a different look to me. Don't get me wrong...I want to see my kids grow up, meet my grand kids..etc. I want to do good things for those around me and my community, I want to retire, get old and work at Wal-mart handing out happy face stickers to all the kids(little joke around here due to lack of a 401K).

Get ready...going to say it again. Death looks less scary...inviting...comforting and most of all HOME. So I wait as if I am going on the best anticipated vacation EVER. Packing nothing but the love that has been passed to me. Waiting...for the chance to hold my Elijah who I never really got to know and for the first time meet my other baby...though we have never laid eyes on each other...I am quite sure I will know them when I see them. I pray that with one embrace my special children feel all the love that I have had and been saving for only them all these years. So until I am called HOME...I wait. Some days the wait seems short, like time on earth is going so fast but other days it seems like I am just standing I am waiting out the wait.

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