Elijah,
How could another year go by so quickly. Bittersweet...the years passby and I remember the years without you, but with every passing year is also one more year closer to our reunion. I remember this day so well, every moment because it is all I have of you. Your long fingers, your hair, your silly face that looks like your sister and brother. Just you.
I wanted to have my birthday letter tell you the things that you have taught me and brought to my life...I know that if you were here...you would say "MOM" and be all embarrassed, but I am going to do it anyway.(Insert...big wet smooch on your face)
You brought me the skill of patience...patience to have more children,patience in having no control over anything, but most importantly, patience to the time that is in between us until I embrace you again.
True Love: Knowing and feeling true love. It boggles my mind how strongly I can love you without having you here. I know that we are connected with a tether that GOD created...and that can never be broken...I am your Mommy and you are my guy...no distance, no one, no thing can break that. EVER. You also allowed me to openly feel the true love of our heavenly father...and you gave me the freedom to allow HIM to hold me in a tight embrace all these years.
A love for more children: You have given me the desire to not give up, to get back up and to be a better Mommy. Loving even the tough times and rejoicing in them. Knowing how quickly they could be gone.
A stronger love for our FATHER: I had to give you to HIM with an open and truly trusting heart. Not understanding why you were gone and away from me...but knowing our GOD has great plans for you. And that I must fully entrust you to him for his GLORY.
Seeing the ripple effect that you caused in so many people. Some turned bitter and cursed GOD, while others with an open heart started to question their walk with CHRIST and are on the path of the gospel. AMEN. GOOD work little guy. That is what it is all about.
Wishing you a wonderful birthday surrounded by the sound and sight of love. I love you so much and wish I could give you a big hug and smooch, long enough to embarrass you...BIG TIME!!! Thank you for the blessings that you have given me...you have taught me so much little guy. Until we meet on the tip of the heavens...love you!!!
2 comments:
That was beautiful! Praying for you...
Nichelle,
That was the most beautiful letter I have ever read!! It brought tears to my eyes....tears of pain for your loss and grieving. And it also makes me stop, take a deep breath, and remember to cherish every little moment I have with my boys, because I never know when my last moment with them will be. Thank you for sharing your life with me and thank you for writing this blog for others to read and for being real about your feelings. You do not know what your life story is doing for God's kingdom. I am praising God for you and for your sweet little guy and the lives he has and is changing through your blog. You are an amazing woman of God, wife, mother, and friend and I feel truly blessed that you call me "friend"!! Love you!!
Debbie :)
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