That day

It is hard to believe that four years ago today I buried my sweet Elijah. How those hours that we were able to hold him went too quickly. The painful breach birth, the sadness in the eyes on the nurses and our doctors face, still being filled with joy when my doctor said "its a boy", all of us knowing what the day would bring for us...and the grief to come. My doctor was wonderful, I have heard from others that theirs were not...she came in late that night an sat on my bed...what a kind and loving heart she had. Our hospital social worker...my friend...she was so supportive and caring. Friends calling or stopping by nice enough to understand that I "just couldn't". Our pasters that came quickly from holidays with their families to place their hands on me and pray. Our friend and funeral director that made the funeral happen before the New Year. I could not bear to start the New Year with a funeral. Anyone who does not believe in GOD things, if they were with us that day would....BELIEVE.

It is hard to think that I had any moments that day to reflect by myself..but as I lay sleepless in the hospital that night, I watched the news, the TV was filled with news about the Tsunami. I looked at the images and did not feel sorry for myself any longer. These people ...sssssssoooo many. Their children, spouses, families, friends all gone. Their homes, places of work, places of worship, places to provide water...food...all gone. God blessed us...my family, friends and brothers and sisters from our church rallied around us. We were able to go back to the comforts of our home and grieve...many were not able to. Though I was grieving for our loss, my heart broke for all of those on the TV...so many gone.

As another New Year approaches...I am reminded that he will fill us up, as he did four years ago, with what we need each and everyday. I trust in HIM fully. I am RENEWED in his faithfulness, grace, mercy, hope, and love.

Revelation 21:5
He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."

Psalm 46:10
Be still, and know that I am God.