Snapshots

As we celebrated Jesus's birth, singing, worship, time with family, presents, food and more food...I was happy to have my loved ones around me...so many are not with us anymore and my heart breaks...within the last five years our "picture" of life has changed. Those visual snapshots that include images of people are missing people from years before. Pictures in my head that are full of memories including people that have meant so much to us. Within five years we have lost 2 good friends, my two grandma's, Shane's two grandpa's, and our two Glory babies...I remember those special ones in only snapshots in my memories...seeing friends in passing meaning to talk just a moment, but having conversations making you laugh and laugh. Spending moments at the cemetery with a friend full of laughter and tears about our Lord and his mysterious ways. I have snapshots of my grandma making her special eggnog and her hollering at my grandpa to turn up his hearing aids, or my other grandma bringing out the big box full of gifts with all the tags still on...ha..ha. Shane's grandpa last year this time...savoring every moment with all of his grandkids...mustering up enough energy to still "wrestle grandpa style"
When we were trying to get a Christmas picture of us and the kid's... I kept thinking...this is only half. Normally we would need two more spaces in this picture...and it hits me again...there will always be missing kids in my pictures, at the table, tucking in at night, sending off to the first day of kindergarten, etc...Knowing that so many other families were feeling the same way this year.
Over the last few years...I pray, sometimes not even knowing what to pray. He always listens and answers. Late one night he placed these words in my head when I was at a loss for how to pray...

God bless my children with me...with you...and are yet to come.

What a perfect prayer he placed in my heart...words to the emotion in my heart. He never fails me that is for sure...I don't know if we will ever have anymore children naturally or by adoption...but there are so many more ways to impact the lives of children...so I think that the last part of the prayer..."and are yet to come"...he leaves the door open and the unknown yet to be seen...he is not going to let me see all of his plan yet..ha....

Praying that those who hurt because someone is missing from your snapshot, that God will soften your heart to him, and allow truth and trust in him to fill the emptiness in your heart...he will fill it up.