Just when I think that I have this whole "grief thing" figured out...BAM...NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It could be a verse, something someone says..in this case a book that was given to me...and the worst...having someone I know also become a SISTER in this journey. Just got news that a family in our church, had their son fly to Jesus this weekend...she had shared that they knew that would be the case, but still not easy to hear about or understand. I have had a flood of emotions today for them as I am sympathizing with them ...REMEMBERING.
Remembering the crushing pain in my heart
Trying to memorize every tiny detail of my baby. Smells, touch, his fingers, his toes and how I wished I could look into his eyes and have him see the love in my eyes for him...just once.
Having such joy and pain all at the same time
Praying for one more minute...just one more.
Knowing life as I knew it would never be the same.


The thing that beaks my heart not only that I endured this but knowing that another family also is filled with such grief. and that leaving that hospital without their baby was the hardest thing they probably will ever have to. WHY, I cry out to HIM...WHY...I don't understand.

As I am sitting here asking the whys of which I don't have any answers to.

These are the things I do know that I have been given out of the unknowns.
I know that GOD the Father, Son and Holy Spirit were with me that day in the hospital.
I know that people we knew and didn't know prayed for us and we felt it.
I know that God is OK when I ask the whys, I am of course HIS child and that is what children do with their Fathers.
I know that as my water broke, God graced me with his truth to believe in him and his ways and that I am NOT to truly understand them or HIM..as he whispered "trust me" sweetly with a soft and warm embrace.

Please pray for this family and the many like them.( won't give names...but pretty sure God knows who you are praying for) Pray for God to embrace them and not let go, to have this little child and the faith that his parents have be a witness to the grace and love of God. That many will come to know God in an intimate way through this little child and the family that loves him so very much.

Bloggeritis

I have definitely been slowing down on my Blogging frequency of entries...sometimes I think I have TOOOOO much going on in my head to write about any ONE thing.
This winter was brutal and long...so I was not able to get out to the cemetery barely at all...Before this last couple of weeks weather warm up...there was a 3-4foot drift right over his headstone and no possible way to make it there to scoop it off...talk about guilt as to not being able to do those little things, the only things that I can do to be a mommy to him. Crazy I know...but I gave up years ago trying to figure out my emotions and/when/why I feel certain ways...they are what they are and I have little control or reasoning to them...grief does weird things to you.

His gifts of HOPE

God always gives you what you need when you need it...that is for sure.
Winter has been long...way to long, and my spirits have been down...no sun, cold weather, and busy life makes me one tired, and worn-out gal...and still struggling with my Iron levels so that adds to the tiredness.
We also have heard news that someone we know will need to have surgery soon. Which just has made me feel helpless and sad. But HE once again fills me with his hope.
Not saying it was a "sign" but I do know that GOD is in control of ALL his creatures and happened to place this one in my path.
On the way back from town yesterday...an eagle flew right over us...WOW...what an amazing sight...you may be thinking...so..who cares...but eagles are special to me. After our son died...one crisp and EARLY morning, my husband had woken me up to show me the eagle in our neighbors tree. As it flew over us, you could feel the true power and mightiness of the beautiful creature. AND a HOPE for something that we can't truly touch or control...LIFE on this earth. So when I saw the eagle yesterday, it was truly a gift and reminder in HIS power, love and sign of HOPE. HOPE in everything, not just when you get your way or a prayer answered, but especially when you don't. He and only he knows what the best plan to every request is.

Isaiah 40:31 (New International Version)
31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Thought for today

Have a thought for today…not my own thought of course...” borrowed “ it from our pastors sermon, just added a little to it.


Live in the truth and the light of the LORD..not the darkness of sin and evil…Satan is nocteral and delights in your darkness.

When I started my blog and was looking for the right name to entitle it..."Bring it to HIM" was the perfect choice...that is what I had been doing to survive this grief journey after loosing our son and baby "K". I was giving it ALL to him...my pain, sorrow, anger, worry, weakness, all my sin, and all the other feelings that were in the whirlwind of pain that was consuming my heart. I placed these all at his feet and with a loving and merciful heart he took them ALL.
But since then, he is helping me mature in my faith. And I feel that Bring it to HIM has so much more meaning now. Bring him your PRAISE, so others can see who you credit for your blessings and happiness...Yes we live in a broken world...and lots of things that are terrible happen...so hold tight to him when you are suffering but don't forget to acknowledge the one who walks along side you during these trials...GOD the father...and who pulls you out of the trial by your hand...stronger and having a better understanding of his love for you...GOD the father.
So I bring HIM...my LOVE, and Praise...Bring him my trust that everything from the way I look, to the destructive decisions that I have made, the sorrow that I have suffered is all part of his divine plan to refine my FAITH in HIM...he is an awesome GOD...credit him for pulling you out of the valley and when he places you on the mountain top...Glory be to GOD in ALL things!!!!

Happy Birthday Sweet Boy

Happy 5th Birthday big guy...can't believe it has been 5 whole years since you entered and exited our lives all in the same moment. You left so suddenly that we didn't even get to really know you. I can only imagine the great young man that you have become in heaven. Today is filled with all the thoughts of what could have beens'...the snuggles, the belly laughs, the lazy Saturday mornings in bed watching cartoons and yes even the moments that you would be placed in time outs...crazy I know...but I miss even those. I really don't wonder what you would look like...I look at your brother and sister and that give me some idea of your beautiful face...but I also know...you would be you. I wish I could fly to heaven even for a moment to sneak a kiss and hug. I would meet you on the corner of a star and embrace you with all the love I have stored up for you all these years...and in one moment, you would know all that you have meant to me...
Happy birthday my guy...loving you so much...and praying GOD is throwing you an amazing celebration with his presence.
Loving you to the moon and the stars...
Mommy

Merry CHRISTmas

Wanting you wish you all a Merry CHRISTmas. Know the holiday season is always difficult when you have a loved one who is not with you any longer. It brings a flood of memories which are happy in nature but in reality brings great grief since the memories are just that...and you can no longer talk, touch or laugh with the one you loved so much. Praying that GOD will ease your hearts and comfort you. Also, be hopeful...that GOD is wanting you to remember the reason for the Christmas holiday...CHRIST...his only son came to us. It is not the Christmas cards(no mine did NOT get out again this year) or the cookies made, the presents bought and wrapped. Or the presents that we recieved...no MP3, sweater or toy under the tree can compare to the greatest gift. Jesus! This is HIS birthday...and we should celebrate it as that.

Praying that all of you remember to rejoice in the one and only KING...John 3:16