As I continue on my journey that God has set before me...I continue to struggle with a broken heart of missing my little ones and yearning for more to add laughter into this already loud and silly house...I have found a few things that have begun to heal my heart. This may sound "bad" but one way to start to heal is to surround yourself with other that are also in pain and need help or assistance in some way. You may gain a lot of comfort and great friendships may blossom from this connection, there truly is ALWAYS someone who is hurting and grieving more than you. But as he reminds me over and over again..."it is not all about you-it is about me and my kingdom".
I have tried to help others in different ways the last few years...just the knowing that someone is being helped from a small action that I do...is all for HIM...I have just decided that as a stranger may benefit from the time or item that I donate...I am truly doing it to honor my KING...he has given me so much.
Last week our church went through Matthew 25:35.... WOW...huge thump on the head for me...God himself could have been standing in front of me saying..."are there limits of what you will do for ME!"
Challenge for the week(or more )do kind acts for those around you or a total stranger...it will create a ripple affect and others will benefit from one act of kindness...ideas:
Pay for the meal of the person behind you in the drive through...be prepared that they may be getting lunch for the whole office...not that that happened...ha...ha....or drop something off at the food pantry or homeless shelter in your area...YES...you have one...you just need to find it. Or donate school supplies to the local school.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
It is funny that something a simple as getting a hair cut can bring up the memory and name of Elijah...you can tell people who have suffered grief before in their life...they ask question after question..without judgement of how you answer.
As I was getting my yearly hair cut(and my guy and gal were being patient;0) the stylist started asking questions about me ...are we done having kids, why so many years between them...and the dreaded question how many do I have. I usually say two. Just seems to make people feel bad when you tell them the whole story. But it was how she asked...like she knew something was "up". So I nicely said...well I have been blessed to be pregnant 4 times, but God blessed me even more with the two he let me keep for now. (and I didn't even cry-yeah me) I can't believe he gave me the words. He is great that way. If you are reading this and know of someone who has suffered a loss of any kind, husband, wife, child, parent, friend...please ask them questions about their loved one. I always have a great feeling of love and little glimpse of parenting Elijah when I get to say his name or talk about him, if even for a second.
Hoping to post some pictures of our Colorado trip. I always feel close to God...but something special about praying in the mountains...it is awesome.
As I was getting my yearly hair cut(and my guy and gal were being patient;0) the stylist started asking questions about me ...are we done having kids, why so many years between them...and the dreaded question how many do I have. I usually say two. Just seems to make people feel bad when you tell them the whole story. But it was how she asked...like she knew something was "up". So I nicely said...well I have been blessed to be pregnant 4 times, but God blessed me even more with the two he let me keep for now. (and I didn't even cry-yeah me) I can't believe he gave me the words. He is great that way. If you are reading this and know of someone who has suffered a loss of any kind, husband, wife, child, parent, friend...please ask them questions about their loved one. I always have a great feeling of love and little glimpse of parenting Elijah when I get to say his name or talk about him, if even for a second.
Hoping to post some pictures of our Colorado trip. I always feel close to God...but something special about praying in the mountains...it is awesome.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Quotes
Quotes... these are some quotes that I have come across the last few years...that have touched my heart or hit me hard...I would love to post some of yours if you want...let me know...ENJOY!!!
Hurt is a funny thing ....what make one person angry will give another great grief.
If nothing changes...nothing changes
God doesn't have grandchildren, only children
Pain is...weakness leaving your body.
Service is the Rent you pay for HOPE!
Everyday is a gift, that is why they say it is the present.
I have not yet met a man who is wearthy of what I have to give him
There are three things that you need to be ready to marry....the right place, the right guy and the right time.
Once two lives touch they can never truly be separte again.
My faith will be my eyes.
"We love Him because He first loved us." ~1 John 4:9-10
"Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light." ~ 2 Corinthians 11:14
"Stand still and consider the wondrous works of God." ~ Job 37:14
Hurt is a funny thing ....what make one person angry will give another great grief.
If nothing changes...nothing changes
God doesn't have grandchildren, only children
Pain is...weakness leaving your body.
Service is the Rent you pay for HOPE!
Everyday is a gift, that is why they say it is the present.
I have not yet met a man who is wearthy of what I have to give him
There are three things that you need to be ready to marry....the right place, the right guy and the right time.
Once two lives touch they can never truly be separte again.
My faith will be my eyes.
"We love Him because He first loved us." ~1 John 4:9-10
"Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light." ~ 2 Corinthians 11:14
"Stand still and consider the wondrous works of God." ~ Job 37:14
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Another sad day at our house
Last Thursday we had to put our special, loving, devoted, and funny dog Shadow to sleep...he had lived a long, fun and happy life...but it still was so hard to make the decision to do that for him. He (we think) was about 15ish. The "we think" comes from the fact that he was a great find that we found at the animal shelter...I would love to share the story of how he came to us...to explain how special he was to us for 12 years.
My husband wanted to get a puppy...so after searching...I think that we both decided we could not spend $300+ on a papered dog...so we thought the animal shelter would be a place to get the puppy that my husband was hoping for. He was looking for a dog to train and possibly hunt with. He had gone many times to the shelter without me and finally found "the one"...a puppy. So I went one day to look at him...it was days before Christmas..so a little present for us in our new home...so we thought. As he showed me this puppy...he was cute..but I was not sold...I kept thinking this little guy will not have any trouble getting a good home...but probably not ours. As I looked down the long...aisle of cages...I spotted a black lab mix dog..not old..but not a puppy either. Just looking at him...he did not bark like the other dogs trying to get our attention. He had given up...you could see it in his big brown eyes. I asked to take him into the visit room. As I was petting him I raised my hands to bounce a tennis ball for him to chase...and he shrunk down as if I was going to hit him...THAT WAS IT...he was going home with us. Usually they make you wait 48 hours until you can take your new member home...but for some reason they said we could take him now. As I was filling out all of the paper work and ready to leave...one of the staff pulled my hubby aside and told him that he had gotten a "note" that they were to put him down that night...that they had held onto him for longer than they were supposed to just hoping he would find a home...WOW...goosebumps...everytime I remember how he came into our lives...so many memories and fun times.
How he would smell the strawberries that were in the grocery bag...how he would do a little teenager HUFF, when he didn't get his way. Or how he would always be there the last few years as tears would stream down my face...always sensing that I needed him.
As most of you who read my blog..know that I am a "religious folk"...many have asked if I believe that my dog will be in heaven when I get there...well I don't really know. I have had a conversation with God about this a lot the last few weeks...but as I was preparing lessons for July for children's church...Noah and the Ark was the lesson for July..no...really.
Like I said...I don't know if animals are taken to heaven...but I know that they are a beautiful part of God's creation. And that God doesn't make mistakes...And that they were important enough when all the world was sinning so much for God to command Noah to save his family and two of every animal and bird...so thinking maybe...
Genesis 6-9:17 GOOD STUFF...
also check out http://www.rainbowbridge.com/
click on the poem icon on the lower right...tears...tears...
Just a nice support for ones who have lost a pet.
My husband wanted to get a puppy...so after searching...I think that we both decided we could not spend $300+ on a papered dog...so we thought the animal shelter would be a place to get the puppy that my husband was hoping for. He was looking for a dog to train and possibly hunt with. He had gone many times to the shelter without me and finally found "the one"...a puppy. So I went one day to look at him...it was days before Christmas..so a little present for us in our new home...so we thought. As he showed me this puppy...he was cute..but I was not sold...I kept thinking this little guy will not have any trouble getting a good home...but probably not ours. As I looked down the long...aisle of cages...I spotted a black lab mix dog..not old..but not a puppy either. Just looking at him...he did not bark like the other dogs trying to get our attention. He had given up...you could see it in his big brown eyes. I asked to take him into the visit room. As I was petting him I raised my hands to bounce a tennis ball for him to chase...and he shrunk down as if I was going to hit him...THAT WAS IT...he was going home with us. Usually they make you wait 48 hours until you can take your new member home...but for some reason they said we could take him now. As I was filling out all of the paper work and ready to leave...one of the staff pulled my hubby aside and told him that he had gotten a "note" that they were to put him down that night...that they had held onto him for longer than they were supposed to just hoping he would find a home...WOW...goosebumps...everytime I remember how he came into our lives...so many memories and fun times.
How he would smell the strawberries that were in the grocery bag...how he would do a little teenager HUFF, when he didn't get his way. Or how he would always be there the last few years as tears would stream down my face...always sensing that I needed him.
As most of you who read my blog..know that I am a "religious folk"...many have asked if I believe that my dog will be in heaven when I get there...well I don't really know. I have had a conversation with God about this a lot the last few weeks...but as I was preparing lessons for July for children's church...Noah and the Ark was the lesson for July..no...really.
Like I said...I don't know if animals are taken to heaven...but I know that they are a beautiful part of God's creation. And that God doesn't make mistakes...And that they were important enough when all the world was sinning so much for God to command Noah to save his family and two of every animal and bird...so thinking maybe...
Genesis 6-9:17 GOOD STUFF...
also check out http://www.rainbowbridge.com/
click on the poem icon on the lower right...tears...tears...
Just a nice support for ones who have lost a pet.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Oh...man...again!!!
I was at the swimming pool tonight with my daughter at swimming lessons and was being introduced to another mom there...when I took a look at her belly...oh so cute...yes, she was pregnant. Then there was the mad rush of jealousy and envy...I kept thinking for real!! I had truly thought that I was over these feelings of seeing a pregnant woman...and BAM!!! "REALLY !!!!!". I am so very blessed to have two children alive and well with me...still, my heart longs for more children to add to our family. I started thinking that maybe because what we have gone through, I will ALWAYS look at things differently. Pregnant women, newborn babies, the cry of a baby, the baby isle in a store. I always feel like I am looking back, reliving those moments or days...playing them over and over, not wanting to let go of what has happened; because it is all that I have of my babies...crazy, I know. I once heard a comment that a counselor said to a struggling family about grief and the loss that someone was going through of a loved one that had a traumatic death... You keep replaying their death or details of their death everyday..over and over in your mind...but in reality...they only suffered death once...
Don't think that I am wanting to forget...or that I am suggesting to ANYONE...to forget their loved one...oh ...my..how could you do that. But I feel like I am looking back instead of embracing what happened and applying it to today. Looking forward with the past tightly cuddled in my hand.
But once again...God places his words before me to comfort and grant me peace.
The story of Lot and his wife...Lot's wife looked back after God told them not to...she was then turned into a pillar of salt.
I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:13-14
But my fave for this week...
1 John 3:20 God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything
Glory be to GOD in ALL things
Don't think that I am wanting to forget...or that I am suggesting to ANYONE...to forget their loved one...oh ...my..how could you do that. But I feel like I am looking back instead of embracing what happened and applying it to today. Looking forward with the past tightly cuddled in my hand.
But once again...God places his words before me to comfort and grant me peace.
The story of Lot and his wife...Lot's wife looked back after God told them not to...she was then turned into a pillar of salt.
I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:13-14
But my fave for this week...
1 John 3:20 God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything
Glory be to GOD in ALL things
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Items in a jar
Yes...I have placed an item in my jar, two actually. I am trying to be creative with the jar being "half full" attitude instead of half empty...oh yeah, there was a pun intended.
The first item I placed in my jar was a rock...nothing great and awesome about it. Though, I think I spotted a fossil in it..hha..haa. But, I placed it in the jar of "his treasures" because I liked it, my son was playing with it and gave it to me as a gift. I also placed it into my jar because I thought maybe I was the second person ever to touch this rock(my little one being the first) Now how cool would that be? So in the jar it went.
The second item was my grocery bill...you may think I am crazy(though, that is still open for discussion). I placed it in my jar because I am blessed and grateful for
the money to purchase food for my family. So many don't have the means to do this task. So I feel like it deserved the gratitude it was worth...so in it went.
I was searching for the perfect words of the Father to place in this entry...and BAM!!!! Flipped right to these(he is too cool!)
Psalm 139:14
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful
Psalm 107:9
For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things
The first item I placed in my jar was a rock...nothing great and awesome about it. Though, I think I spotted a fossil in it..hha..haa. But, I placed it in the jar of "his treasures" because I liked it, my son was playing with it and gave it to me as a gift. I also placed it into my jar because I thought maybe I was the second person ever to touch this rock(my little one being the first) Now how cool would that be? So in the jar it went.
The second item was my grocery bill...you may think I am crazy(though, that is still open for discussion). I placed it in my jar because I am blessed and grateful for
the money to purchase food for my family. So many don't have the means to do this task. So I feel like it deserved the gratitude it was worth...so in it went.
I was searching for the perfect words of the Father to place in this entry...and BAM!!!! Flipped right to these(he is too cool!)
Psalm 139:14
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful
Psalm 107:9
For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things
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